Not an April fools joke. Pet peeves are no laughing matter!
The truth about pet peeves is found on the label. The only problem is pet peeves don’t actually come with labels. So I’ve found it best to create my own labels for them. Here’s how I do this and why.
First, I identify what makes me feel annoyed and gives me angst and then I label it a pet peeve. More often than not, pet peeves are external factors or several external factors outside of our control. This can be hugely self-defeating to believe, but it’s true. And yet, we all love our pet peeves. Sad and self-defeating as they very often are… we love them. We do our best to train them, and in doing so, we train ourselves. We somehow find ways to keep them around, and even learn to live with them for extended periods of time, sometimes even years!
So I invite you now to take a minute and play with a few pet peeves. This is how I find a way to label and have fun with them. AND, I say play for a minute because pet peeves can be a real energy drain when played with too long. Trust me, its best to play with them only for a short while. Ok. Here goes.
What bugs you?
Is it the news? The weather? Maybe it’s the people around you?
Meet your pet peeves.
Choose one of your pet peeves. Label it as such, simply a pet you choose to play with, and only for a period that suits your fancy.
Words and labels carry a lot of energy and meaning.
When we comprehend the magnitude of the words and labels we fill our head with we can discover a road map to get us exactly where we want to go. It’s like finding a label with instructions for your pet peeve. Wouldn’t that be wonderful! Most likely they read “handle with care”.
Two examples…and actions that seem simple stupid but really, are very much, easier said than done. Play with them.
Example 1: It’s a real pet peeve of mine how the news is so negative, fear inspiring and nasty!
1) This pet peeve, I label “the news”.
2) I play with pet peeve “the news”.
~ Breathe in ~ Breathe out ~STOP
3) NOW, I consider how playing with my pet peeve “the news” a little less often, and/or “placing it” like the pet peeve that it is… to rest a while, might feel. Empowering ? ! ? ! Awesome ! ? ! ? Yup and it turns out I get “the news” elsewhere because so many people actually have this pet peeve that I encounter and get to pet them and move on all day long.
AND because my pet peeve is so well trained I am proud of myself for being the proud owner of “the news” I live with. If we are all being honest, no body likes a misbehaving beast of a pet. Train yours by setting some boundaries. Be clear with when you have the energy to enjoy “the news” you will inevitably bump into along your day, and then place them like the pet peeves they are. Rest. Note how you feel.
1) This or that person are so annoying…it’s a total pet peeve of mine when they do/say/act X,Y,Z. This pet peeve I label “X,Y,Z”
2) I play with that pet peeve “X,Y,Z”.
~Breathe in ~Breathe out ~STOP
3) NOW, I imagine I am a super sleuth like Peter Falk in the 1971 TV series, Columbo. I ask, “just one more question…” and if I solve the mystery and figure out why it is…I allow these pet peeves in my life? I give my pet peeve a treat and head on out to enjoy the next episode of my life.
If I can’t figure it out in 30 seconds or less, then I put that “X,Y,Z” pet peeve in a safe place, maybe a mental crate and come back to play again when I want. I’m not obligated to wait for the cliffhanger and I certainly am not obligated to play with a pet peeve X,Y,Z for my whole day. More often than not someone else takes care of X,Y,Z by the time I get back from living my life anyway.
Stepping away from annoying pet peeves is totally healthy for you and your pet peeve. It’s actually encouraged. Try it and note how you feel.
Shifting our reality from annoyance and angst to pleasure and enjoyment is an active art that takes focus, finesse and most importantly, FUN! Having fun with words and labels and remembering they can shape your energy for the day is more than half the task. True story. I had a pet peeve once and I totally forgot to feed it. So it died. For a while I missed playing with it. Then as life would have it, another pet peeve found me so I labeled it, played with it more wisely, and fed it only as needed. Eventually it died too. I enjoyed it as the fuel for my fun while it lasted.